It is well known that stone can think, because the whole of electronics is based on that fact, but in some universes men spend ages looking for other intelligences in the sky without once looking under their feet. That’s because they’ve got the time-span all wrong.

From stone’s point of view the universe is hardly created and mountains ranges are bouncing up and down like organ-stops while continents zip backwards and forwards in general high spirits, crashing into each other from the sheer joy of momentum and getting their rocks off.

It is going to be some time before stone notices its disfiguring little skin disease and starts to scratch, which is just as well.

Terry Pratchett, Equal rites